Red - Absolutes
Blue - Participles
Purple - Appositive
Pink - Adjectives out of order
This is a paper I wrote for my Lord of the Rings class back in my community college, although it is only the first three paragraphs. The topic of the essay was to describe who the hero of the story The Lord of the Rings is/are. ENJOY!
Not All Heroes are
Warriors
The generic
hero is a warrior type, tall, strong and handsome; someone that is often seen
hacking off some tyrant king’s head, but how about a three foot or so tall
Hobbit from the Shire? Being strong and valiant are not the only qualities that
describe a hero. It takes a stupendous amount of courage to be a true hero. In The Lord of the Rings there is not one
hero, but two: Frodo Baggins and Samwise Gamgee.
Frodo
Baggins, a hobbit from the Shire, carries the heaviest burden among anyone in
the Fellowship; he carries the one Ring. He is the only one who can take the
Ring to Mordor and that takes an unbelievable amount of courage. When this task
was first appointed to Frodo by Gandalf back in the Shire he says, “And I
suppose that I must go alone, if I am to do that and save the Shire” (Tolkien
61). Frodo would have embarked on his quest alone if he had to, that takes real
guts especially since Gandalf just finished giving him all the details about
the Ring and how the Enemy will be after him. The most obvious situation where
Frodo shows his courage is when he was faced with Shelob. Marching bravely up
to meet Shelob, a ginormous vicious spider, without any regard to his own safety,
and she, terrified and alarmed, sped off into the gloomy darkness of Ephel
Duath, her lair. Hobbits really are one of the most amazing creatures.
Samwise the
Brave is another chief character in this story. He may not be the one carrying
the burden, but he sure does help his master all the way to Mordor. There are
so many examples of Sam’s loyalty to his master Frodo; one such example is when
they were nearing Mount Doom, Sam began to ration the meals so that he hardly
ate and drank anything at all to make sure Frodo could have enough strength to
bear his burden. One of Sam’s many acts of courage is when he carries the Ring
for Frodo when he thinks he is dead. Sam finds out Frodo is still alive
after listening to the Orcs; mind racing, fear rising, Sam makes his choice: he
marches over to the tower of Cirith Ungol where Frodo is held captive by
thousands, if not millions of Orcs, to rescue him. Sam knew the odds: one
Hobbit versus a multitude of Orcs, which takes a serious amount of courage. Sam
would do anything to protect his master Frodo and to make sure he accomplishes
his mission to destroy the Ring.
I really like your absolute! I also like how you mixed the appositive and participle into one sentence, I forgot to do it in my own writing but I like your example.
ReplyDeleteThe sentence structure in the rest of the piece seems pretty simple and a little plain. Then again it is an essay...but it could use a little more sparkle.